New Year, New Baby?

Just yesterday, my husband and I packed up the Christmas stuff. As we were finishing up, a thought popped into my head, "We could have another baby in our arms next Christmas".

A lot of things can happen in a year - boy, life can be so unpredictible. We entered 2006 as a family of two, learned in February that we were expecting a baby due in the month of November. We had no idea that our precious miracle would arrive 15 weeks and 2 days early in the month of July. We had no idea that we would spend my third trimester in the NICU. 105 days of machines, doctors and worry.

Our friends seem to get pregnant without much thought. I guess the fact that this time we are considered major high-risk, the decision to have another isn't as easy for us as it is for some. I wish the decision wasn't in our hands but with birth control, it is. I wish something would just happen for us. Can God intervene? I think we should start practicing NFP - probably the only form of birth control with the greatest risk of becoming pregnant.

Adoption has been on the top of my mind lately and I have scoured the internet searching for information, searching for a sign, an answer. A big packet came in the mail yesterday. I was not moved. I randomly came across a lengthy article about adoption in a magazine this morning and was still not feeling adoption as much as I thought I would.