You know in your heart...

This was a big week for me. First of all, our family is not yet complete. This I know in my heart and there is now a peace that surrounds our decision to have another child.

My commitment to this was so intense that I became anxious to GET THE SURGERY OVER WITH! I emailed a couple of docs and called about five different Universities looking for TAC specialists. To make a week of flip flopping simple, I tentatively scheduled with Dr. Debbs, spoke with Dr. Haney in Chicago, canceled Dr. Debbs and was ready to schedule with Dr. Haney until I spoke with and met (today!!) Dr. George Davis. You know in your heart when you've found the right physician. He's the ONE! He spent an hour and a half answering all our questions. He spent another half hour evaluating my cervix. Not once did we feel rushed. Not once did I feel as though I asked a stupid question. He showed us the material that the TAC is made of. He drew pictures. He showed us photos/sketches of the anatomy and detailed portions of the surgery. He gave me confidence that this TAC will take me to 39 weeks!!! (Not sure I'm comfy going THAT far!) He acknowledged that there is a logical component to pregnancy and an emotional component. He believes in a woman's sixth sense about her body and he supports that along with the emotional component that drives anxiety and worry. He embraced a coordinated plan of care between his expertise and my desires as a patient. He gave me his personal cell phone number.

So... the game plan is this. I need to get my period! According to the ultrasound, I'm about to ovulate. As soon as my period starts, I will call him. He will then schedule the OR time (between my period and ovulation). He will mail a Quest slip to me so I can do my preadmission testing at a local lab (he's really not that far but knows it's easier for me not to make the trip with Precious Miracle in tow). We will sign consent the morning of surgery (or if surgery is scheduled for first thing, I'll drive down the day before). I will have a spinal and be awake for the 40 minute procedure. Before I am discharged from the hospital, he will show me how my cervical length has increased as a result of the TAC.

He confirmed that I have a short cervix (2.5 cm) and that I am a perfect candidate for this surgery. I will still do weekly progesterone shots (for preterm labor) as a precaution even though I am a classic case of incompetent cervix/cervical insufficiency.

I feel good! I feel relieved! I feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders! I am excited to begin this next chapter of our journey.

I am always on the look out for signs - signs that things are right. As I was driving home after picking up my car at my husband's office, "Unwritten" came on the radio. This was a song that played often as I would travel to and from the NICU to visit Precious Miracle. At that time, I hung onto certain words of that song to get me through. Today certain other words hit me. "Today is where your book begins"... we are on our way. This is officially the beginning of our second “baby journey”.

I smile as I realize that my children are already united - united by a simple song.