Catching Up and Hoping I Don't Get It!

My Sweet Little Miss came down with her first cold of the season on Sunday. It must have been brewing for a few days as the end of last week, I was mom to a very unhappy and miserable little girl. We thought it was just a phase but Sunday morning, she woke with a runny nose and by afternoon, she had a low-grade temp. By Sunday night we were on O2 and by Monday, sitting in the pulmonologist's office learning she had a raging ear infection. So much for the oozing that ear tubes are supposed to provide you with when an infection is running rampant. I have no idea how long the infection was brewing but it was long enough to wreck havoc on her respiratory status and her asthma flared up, requiring a couple days worth of oxygen therapy. We will probably continue it for the next couple of nights just to be on the safe side. Thankfully, her fever is gone and she is satting fine during the day.

Now I am fighting something as my throat is scratchy. I hope that's the extent of it.

Yesterday, Little Miss and I spent most of the day in bed, just hanging out and watching TV. Oh, how I hate to admit that but when you are a two-year old tethered to a tank, there are few options. Anyway, in the midst of checking my email, I noticed that something had leaked. It was clear fluid, no mucus or anything and no, I didn't cough or sneeze and nothing about caring for a sick child is funny. So as far as leaking pee, I don't think that was it. But there was something and that something remained unknown. I told my friend and ran it by my husband, who both insisted that I place a call to the doc. They were at lunch (a long one at that) and by the time I remembered to call back, the office had closed.

I knew there was absolutely nothing they could do if I was leaking amniotic fluid. I know if much of anything happens at this point, there is nothing that can be done. The baby is all of 6 oz (hard to believe Precious Miracle was just a whopping pound more at birth) and at almost 17 weeks, not yet viable. It breaks my heart to think that way but I have realized that I can control what I can and what I can't is really out of my hands. Why worry, why obsess? I have done absolutely everything I can to make sure this pregnancy goes to term. I cannot second-guess and question that nor can I spend my day thinking about everything that could go wrong. I chose to move on.

What made it easy to move on was knowing that I had an appointment to be seen by my local group this morning. I told the nurse what happened with the leakage of something and she said, we'll just do a quick test for amniotic fluid. Well, by the time the doc walked in, that was out the window, as he claimed if it was fluid, it would not have been a one-time thing. Back to that whole trust issue...

So why didn't I just demand the test, just to put my mind at ease? Perhaps because I just didn't want to know. Maybe that is my whole approach to this pregnancy. A do all you can, close your eyes and pray that everything works out okay approach? A don't go looking for issues if they can't be fixed approach? Denial? Detachment? Not yet sure.

Back to the appointment: all looks good! I gained two pounds, yippee! No more anorexic momma here! My cervix is measuring 3.3 cm and with fundal pressure, remains long and closed! And my uterus is right on target in terms of size and the baby had a good heart rate of 145. Oh, and he is very active!

I also asked Dr. G (as Dr. C requested) what his thoughts were about bed rest. He said nope, not necessary. Thank goodness! Now, there is always the caveat that if God-forbid, something should be identified, I will climb into bed in a heartbeat and stay there until this little guy is ready to be born.

Oh and the other difference between the two docs, Dr. G wants to start weekly checks now as opposed to week 20. I'm okay with that.

Finally, I just want to add that since Missy has been sick lately, she has been very clingy and needing lots of cuddles. We have spent the past few days practically attached to each other as Daddy can't even hold her nebulizer. Everything is, "No, Mommy do it!" Anyway, when she snuggles into my tummy, putting a little bit of pressure on my growing bump, the little guy gets all charged up, moving around and around. Now if he could only see the stickers that decorate my stomach from time to time, courtesy of Big Sissy... we'll just take a picture and show him in six months from now.