A View of My TAC

I had an appointment with Dr. C this morning. It was a regular appointment so I hopped on the scale - and according to their records, I have neither lost nor gained. My weight is exactly what it was on July 30th when I had my first appointment. I was happy to know that based on the same scale as six weeks prior, my weight did not go down. My blood pressure was taken and thankfully, it is where I am used to it hovering: 90/50. We also heard the baby's heartbeat on the doppler: 153 bpm. It was picked up very easily and there is no better sound in the world.

Dr. C then did a cervical scan. It was a landmark day as he saw my TAC for the very first time. He then went on to evaluate my cervix. He came up with over 3 cm of cervical length. I am not so sure how I feel about this as Dr. Davis claims that the cervix does not get longer but that the lower uterine segment can often be mistaken as cervix. Dr. Davis consistently measures my cervix at 2.5 cm with a functional length of 2.4.

The events of today took me back to my almost 18 week anatomy scan with Missy when I was told my cervical length was 2.5 cm and that it was the "low end of normal" but still "ok". If there is a tendency to overestimate, chances are it wasn't 2.5 cm. If a proper measurement was achieved, would other measures have been taken that could have prevented her premature birth? Thoughts such as these are a vicious cycle as I remind myself often that Missy is who she was destined to be. Perhaps had they been wise to my cervical issues and attempted a transvaginal cerclage, my membranes would have ruptured. When I look back at it all, especially considering just how well this child is doing, I can only feel blessed and thankful that everything went exactly as it did.

So the question becomes, why do I keep questioning this group? Is it because I blame them? Is it because the same room where my exam was held today was the exact same room where I was told my membranes were bulging? Is it because they were not advocates of the TAC? Is it because I trust Dr. Davis more?

I really like Dr. C. I do. He treats me with respect (now that we've moved past our differences in treatment options and I took charge of my care) and was very thorough prior to the start of today's exam asking very telling questions about discharge, fluid leakage, back pain, etc. I felt he was extremely methodical and cautious with my c-section the first time around, doing all he could to ensure I didn't have other issues down the road. I trust his skill in that fashion and would really prefer that he deliver this baby over anyone else.

My main concern is funnelling, which in my understanding, is easily identified. I am certain that this phenomenon would be picked up by anyone qualified to do a transvaginal ultrasound. I am really tempted to stop driving to see Dr. Davis and in fact am really close to canceling my appointment for Tuesday. Yes, it's nice to see the baby but the reality is he's moving and I feel it. Perhaps not everyday but just when I realize it has been a while, he gives me a nice nudge. And yes, it was confirmed that Missy is going to have a baby brother! We are excited to be expecting a baby boy for a number of reasons, one of which I already addressed (although the name thing is back in the air again). I'm sure I'll address the other reasons in later posts.

On another note, it looks like my placenta previa has reduced itself to "marginal" and Dr. C is confident it will continue to move away from my cervix. He too said not to be alarmed as I am having a c-section anyway. The good news he pointed out was that it's posterior, meaning the placenta is on the back of my uterus as opposed to the front of my uterus. Adhering to the front can cause a whole new set of issues which it looks like, thankfully, I'll be able to avoid.

All in all, today was a good visit. I got a call from the pharmacy that my progesterone was filled. Hubby just needs to stop by and pick it up along with my syringes. Then we need to submit for reimbursement - fun.

We are also debating whether or not to go back to the doctors office so hubby can learn how to inject my medication. That would entail going at 16 weeks for a lesson and then going back at 17 weeks to confirm he can administer the shot properly. I am really nervous about him doing it for some reason although there is absolutely no need to be.

My nausea returned for the better part of the morning as I hadn't felt as sick for a few days now. I'm hopeful this will pass very soon - why does it seem like I am always saying that?